let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
