Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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