we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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