I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
