There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don't tell me you're on acid again
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
