Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
