apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
