He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
