i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
