NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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