So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
