weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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