i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
