Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
