Pants 0. Shit 1.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
