Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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