remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
