Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
