First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
