i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A bitchslap is in order.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
