she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
