I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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