So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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