I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
