so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
