yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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