found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
