So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
