It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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