didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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