Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
