sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
