Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
