Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
