If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
