Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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