dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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