Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Randomize
