I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
