i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
