How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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