I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
