38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just gargled with NyQuil
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
