And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
im on a boat
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