OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
