So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
