i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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