I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
