Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
