Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
