im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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